Getting to the Heart of Behavior: A Biblical Approach to Childrearing

The Bible teaches that the heart is the control center of life, and that a person’s actions are a reflection of what is within their heart. Proverbs 4:23 emphasizes this truth, stating, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” This powerful image illustrates that all aspects of life, including behaviour, flow from the condition of the heart. This concept is echoed throughout Scripture, with passages such as Mark 7:21 and Luke 6:45 highlighting that both good and evil actions originate from the heart.

When it comes to childrearing, it is essential to recognise that a child’s behaviour is not the primary issue; rather, it is a reflection of the heart’s orientation. Parents often focus on modifying behaviour, thinking that correcting a child’s actions is the ultimate goal. However, this approach misses the deeper issue. True transformation comes not from merely changing behaviour, but from addressing the heart attitudes that drive that behaviour.

Consider a common scenario: children fighting over a toy. The typical response might be to determine who had the toy first, focusing on justice. Yet, this perspective overlooks the underlying heart issues. In reality, both children may be displaying selfishness and a disregard for one another’s happiness. The heart issue is the same: a desire for personal happiness at the expense of others.

Understanding that all behaviour is linked to heart attitudes transforms the way we approach discipline. It shifts the focus from merely correcting behaviour to addressing the deeper issues of the heart. This approach opens the door to discussing the child’s need for a Savior, highlighting the importance of the cross of Christ in transforming hearts and lives.

The heart-focused approach to parenting is not about offering simple, quick-fix solutions. Instead, it requires a commitment to shepherding the heart, helping children see how their actions reflect deeper spiritual needs. This method shapes the goals, methods, and overall model of child development within the family.

Ultimately, the goal of parenting is to raise children who are not only well-behaved but who have hearts that are aligned with God’s will. This vision is worth striving for, and it requires a commitment to understanding childrearing through the lens of Scripture. By focusing on the heart, parents can guide their children toward a deeper relationship with God and a life that reflects His love and truth.

If you are after a good book – Let me recommend
Shepherding a Child’s Heart – by Tedd Tripp